4 Tips for Dealing with Difficult Family Members During the Holidays
The holiday season is just around the corner. While everyone’s traditions and celebrations are different, it’s often a time for families to get together for meals, parties, gift-giving, and other festivities.
On paper, that sounds great. In Hallmark movies, it’s picturesque. But that’s not always the way it feels in the real world.
Families can be frustrating. No matter how much you love them, it can be hard to get along with everyone, whether they have opposing views on things or they don’t seem to respect your boundaries.
So, what can you do to deal with frustrating family members during the holidays? How can you prepare yourself now for these unpleasant interactions?
1. Adjust Your Expectations
The holidays tend to come with a lot of underlying expectations. Maybe you want the Hallmark family, or maybe you’re hosting a gathering this year and want everything to be perfect.
One of the best things you can do for your own mental well-being is to adjust your expectations and your attitude. Be realistic when it comes to what to expect from your gathering, and you’re less likely to get frustrated and upset.
Additionally, think about how you can relax and reduce stress before your family even gets there. Try things like mindfulness, meditation, and journaling to center yourself in the present. You’ll be more likely to enjoy the moment with the family members you get along with rather than focusing on those that frustrate you.
2. Be Careful With Conversation Topics
Maybe you get along with most family members until certain subjects come up around the dinner table. Some of the classic triggers for people are politics, money, and social issues.
Not everyone in your family has to agree on everything. But, if you know certain conversation topics get people fired up, try to avoid them. If one person tries to bring them up, steer the conversation in a different direction. Or, set clear boundaries suggesting that you’re not going to be talking about those things this year.
3. Accept What You Can and Can’t Control
Along with adjusting your expectations for your family get-together, accept what’s in your control — and what’s not.
Realistically, the only thing you have complete control over is your attitude and how you respond to people when they’re frustrating. It’s easy to think about turning the other cheek. It’s easy to think about walking away from a situation that bothers you. But putting that into practice is much more difficult.
Still, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your family. Don’t try to reach for things beyond your control. You’ll end up disappointed. Focus on your response to certain frustrations and how you can stay calm and collected.
4. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude
Living with a grateful attitude is something you should do year-round to reduce stress and keep frustrations at bay. But the holiday season is a perfect time to reflect on the things you have and the things you’re grateful for.
That might include a roof over your head, plenty of warm, comforting meals, and family members and friends you love. When you focus on the things you’re grateful for instead of the things (or people) that frustrate you, you’re less likely to be brought down by those frustrations. They won’t seem to matter as much because your attention will be on the good things in your life rather than the things that cause irritation.
As we approach the holiday season, keep these tips in mind. You’re never going to be able to control the personalities of certain family members. But, you can control your response and how much you let them impact your well-being.