How Does Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Help Relationships?

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) helps individuals address and heal attachment issues impacting relationships. If you tend to experience a lot of distress and conflict in your relationship — so much so that the issues are becoming problematic patterns, EFT might be able to help.

EFT allows you to better recognize your attachment style, which may help you to become more secure in yourself and your relationship. It can also help you break negative patterns that could damage your relationship.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the more intricate ways EFT can help relationships so you can determine whether it’s the right option for you. 

It Stops Negative Cycles

If you think you’re stuck in a rut of negative communication patterns with your partner, EFT can help. An EFT therapist can help you identify those negative patterns and de-escalate them. They’ll also help you understand how those patterns might relate to your individual attachment styles and how those styles impact your overall communication efforts.

Once the patterns are de-escalated, and the attachment emotions are addressed, EFT can give you a sort of “clean slate” to reframe your relationship and restructure your bond.

It Helps to Change Patterns

Of course, you can’t just de-escalate negative patterns and call it a day. If that was the only part of EFT, you would likely fall into negative cycles within your relationship again. 

The next stage of EFT works by helping you interact with your partner in healthier, more positive ways. To be able to interact better, each partner is encouraged to express their truest emotions, as well as their needs. You’ll then learn how to better understand your partner’s emotions and show empathy rather than dismissing them or showing judgment.

When you and your partner have a deeper understanding of each other’s emotions, you can frame your discussions and disagreements around those things in the future. When you do, you’re more likely to enjoy healthy, productive communication rather than negative statements and behaviors. 

It Helps You Interact More Effectively

Emotionally focused therapy is a short-term treatment option with long-term, lasting results. In the time you work with a therapist, you’ll learn the coping skills necessary to break negative patterns. You’ll also better understand your attachment styles and how to communicate the right way(s) with your partner.

But you won’t be going to therapy every week forever. The goal of EFT is to teach you and your partner skills you can integrate into your everyday lives for years to come. You might even put together a strategy with your therapist to help you and your partner know what to do to keep from falling back into old patterns and habits. 

Is EFT Right for Your Relationship?

EFT isn’t the solution for every couple. But it’s one of the best options if you feel like you can’t get out of a rut of conflict with your partner. If you tend to fall back into negative patterns with each other and it feels like your relationship isn’t moving forward, EFT could be the best way to pull you out of those patterns.

Communication is essential to any healthy relationship. If you’re having difficulty communicating with your partner because of negative attachment issues, or if things seem to escalate into disagreements more often than not, EFT can help you learn how to de-escalate and get to the bottom of your issues before they become worse.

You don’t have to wait for your relationship to feel like it’s on the rocks before trying EFT. If you’re interested in learning more about this type of therapy, don’t hesitate to contact me for information.