5 Tips for Easing Marriage Anticipation Anxiety
It’s perfectly normal to have “butterflies” before you walk down the aisle. After all, getting married is a huge life transition. For many, it’s one of the most important decisions they’ll ever make, and it’s not something to take lightly.
However, there’s a big difference between feeling excited (or even a bit nervous) and struggling with marriage anticipation anxiety. Because marriage is such a big decision, some people end up second-guessing themselves or letting intrusive thoughts get in the way.
If you’re dealing with marriage anxiety and the “what ifs” aren’t going away, let’s cover a few tips you can use to take control and ease your worries.
1. Ask Yourself What Will Change
One of the best ways to overcome marriage anticipation anxiety is to get to the root cause of it. Getting married is a change, there’s no doubt about that. But it might not be as big of a change as you think.
If the root cause of your fear stems from the unknown, ask yourself what will really change about your life after getting married. If you already live with your soon-to-be spouse, very little will likely be different. Even if you live apart, chances are you know your partner extremely well, and you’ve already talked about living arrangements. Believing that things won’t change drastically can help to make the idea of marriage less daunting.
2. Manage Your Expectations
We live in a world where people post just about every aspect of their lives on social media. That can lead to a lot of comparison issues. Even if you’re not active on social platforms, it’s normal to have certain ideas or expectations about what a marriage should look like. If you’re not comparing yourself to people online, you might look at marriages of friends and family members and think yours needs to be the same. It’s okay to have expectations. But make sure they’re realistic. Don’t compare your relationship to others; you’re likely to be more content.
3. Don’t Worry So Much About Conflicts
People who have been married for 50+ years still have disagreements. They don’t always see things eye-to-eye. That doesn’t mean their marriage is struggling. You don’t have to agree with your partner on everything. You’re different people and you’re going to have different ideas. As long as your values line up and you know how to communicate effectively, don’t worry if you disagree about certain things. Conflicts are normal in relationships. It’s how you work through them that matters.
4. Remind Yourself Why You Want to Get Married
Whether you asked someone to marry you or you accepted a proposal, consider the reason. What made you say “yes” or go out and buy a ring? While saying you’re in love might be the obvious answer, there’s more to it than that. Think about what made you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner. If you keep focusing on that and reminding yourself of your decision, it will be easier to silence negative, doubting thoughts.
5. Go Through Premarital Counseling
If you’re struggling with marriage anticipation anxiety, don’t feel you have to deal with it on your own. Premarital counseling is often a great way to express your concerns or worries. Some people counsel with a pastor or priest, while others prefer a mental health professional. Whatever you decide, make sure you’re open to being vulnerable. It will make it easier to get to the underlying cause of your anxiety.
Don’t let marriage anticipation anxiety cause you to doubt your relationship or your future. Use these tips to fight back, and don’t hesitate to seek out help if you can’t manage your anxiety on your own. Contact us today to learn more about premarital counseling at Forward Together! You might want toparticipate in our pre-marital retreat day! It can be a great way to set your marriage up for success.