I’m Excited To Get Married, So Why Am I Anxious?
It’s not uncommon for people to have “wedding day jitters” or even experience a case of cold feet before they walk down the aisle. But there’s a difference between feelings of butterflies or nerves and actual anxiety over getting married.
You might be quick to criticize yourself if you’re feeling anxious. You know you’re excited about getting married. So, where are those anxious feelings coming from? Do they mean anything? Most importantly, what can you do about them?
Marriage Is a Major Life Change
It’s easy to get caught up in wedding planning and preparing for the big day. So, when you get a moment or two to think about your actual marriage, it can be a little overwhelming.
Marriage is one of the biggest life changes you’ll ever go through. Even if you’re already living with your partner, things can change. While that’s a positive thing and certainly something to get excited about, it can also cause your mind to wander, which can lead to anxiety. Those feelings can be even worse if you haven’t lived with your partner before.
The “What Ifs” Take Over
In addition to understanding that your life will likely change after marriage, you might start asking yourself what your future will look like. Weddings are exciting. Marriage is work. That doesn’t mean you won’t have incredible, wonderful times throughout your marriage. In fact, you’ll likely have more good times than not. But, there will be disagreements, compromises, and hardships.
All of those “what ifs” can come flooding into your mind before your big day. When they all start to come at once, they feel more overwhelming and scary than they really are. It’s the work and effort you put into a marriage that makes it so great, so don’t let those hypothetical situations drag you down.
Social Pressures
When you’re about to get married, you’re likely going to hear a lot of advice and opinions from people in your life. Family members and friends might mean well when they tell you what to do and expect. But don’t feel like you have to listen to every piece of advice.
Additionally, don’t give into “traditional” pressures or stereotypes that come with marriage. Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself, your partner, and your marriage will only leave both of you feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. Those expectations of perfection will also cause you to feel anxious long before the big day actually arrives.
How Can You Deal With Marriage Anxiety?
Remind yourself that it’s completely normal to feel anxious before getting married. No matter how happy you are in your relationship or how sure you are about spending forever with your partner, these feelings are okay!
What’s causing you to feel stressed, overwhelmed, or even worried? Do what you can to get to the root cause of your anxiety. When you’re able to get to the underlying cause, don’t hesitate to talk to your partner about it. Opening up about your feelings—even negative ones—is a great way to start your marriage off on the right foot by prioritizing communication.
If you’re struggling with anxiety, reaching out for help is okay. Knowing what’s causing your anxiety is not always easy, and you don’t have to deal with it alone. For many couples, premarital counseling can be a healthy way to prepare for the marriage ahead and ease any anxiety surrounding the big day. Contact us for more information on premarital and couples therapy! Or join our pre-marital retreat day to invest in your new marriage.