Is Sadness Your Safety Net?

Most people probably wouldn’t openly confess that they like to be sad. But, the idea of sadness has been somewhat glamorized in waves throughout history. Sadness had been associated with everything from great art to beautiful poetry and songwriting. 

We can sometimes see sadness as “deep” and meaningful, romanticizing it in such a way that it becomes comfortable. 

If you’ve experienced sadness (as we all have), you might even feel comfortable resting in it for a while. So, even if you don’t like the feeling of being sad, it can sometimes serve as a security blanket. 

Unfortunately, sadness often serves as nothing more than a distraction or defense mechanism for something deeper. If you feel “safe” in your sadness, you could be avoiding dealing with something more serious that could have a negative impact on your mental well-being. 

A Default Response

Even if you don’t necessarily like how you feel when you’re sad, it can become a default response to situations because it’s comfortable. You might not like how you feel, but at least you know how you feel. 

For some people, that’s better than taking risks or dealing with more intense emotions, like anxiety, fear, or even depression. Sadness can be predictable. It isn’t as intense as something like fear, so it gives you a false sense of control, even when it’s wreaking havoc on your mental health. 

Sadness and even depression can easily become part of your daily routine. While routines are important for everyone, allowing these emotions to creep in can create problems. You’ll become more comfortable with them and even “accept” them as a regular part of your life. Your mind might look at your sadness as a sign of stability, no matter how miserable it makes you feel. 

Avoiding Pain and Hurt

Some people use constant sadness to prevent themselves from getting hurt again. They believe that if they’re already feeling sad, they’re less likely to face a negative path, such as rejection or disappointment. 

Unfortunately, when people believe this, they will likely choose sadness over other emotions. Even if you don’t necessarily have anything to grieve about, you might choose to be sad simply so you don’t have to open up or be vulnerable — and potentially get hurt. 

It Becomes Who You Are

If you’ve been struggling with sadness for a while, you might start to adopt it as your identity. That can be a defense mechanism and provide a sense of safety for anyone who might not otherwise feel secure in their identity. 

Have you ever told someone that you’ve “always felt this way” or that your sense of sadness is just part of “who you are”? Do you believe those things about yourself even if you haven’t said them out loud? 

Giving in to sadness as a part of your identity can make it hard to overcome. No one wants to lose a part of themselves, even if it’s a negative part. Being able to separate yourself from your sadness is important. 

What Can You Do?

If you find comfort and security in your sadness, you’re not alone. No matter how bad it might make you feel, the unknown of feeling something else — something new — can seem scary and somehow worse. 

But holding onto sadness like a security blanket hinders your quality of life. It is important to get to the root of that sadness so you can start finding effective ways of healing and letting it go. Doing so will help you find your true identity and step out of your comfort zone in the best way possible. 

If you’re ready to take that step, you don’t have to do it on your own. Contact our team for more information or to set up an appointment soon.