Set Your Relationship Up for Success Through Gottman Couples Therapy

Have you ever considered getting extra support in your relationship? It’s a misconception that therapy means something is wrong. You don’t have to wait until your relationship is struggling to seek couples therapy.

Think of it like a preventive care measure to make sure you are both as strong as possible incase disaster strikes. When considering any types of therapy or counseling, it can be daunting to determine what kind of therapy is the best fit for you and your partner. 

If you’re trying to set your relationship up for success and build your connection and intimacy, the Gottman method might be exactly what you’re looking for. 

Let’s take a closer look at how you can succeed in Gottman couples therapy and what to expect from the process. 

What Is the Gottman Method?

The Gottman method for couples is designed to help you build intimacy in your relationship. That’s done by breaking down barriers in the way you communicate with each other. Most people understand that effective communication is a crucial component of any successful relationship. However, that doesn’t mean everyone knows how to communicate effectively. On top of this, people have different communication styles.

Thankfully, the Gottman method is an evidence based method proven to improve communication in relationships and build closeness as a couple. So, what can you do to take full advantage of the method? 

Remember You’re On the Same Team

One of the biggest things that can trip couples up regarding communication is feeling like you’re on opposing sides. You might have different opinions and perspectives on things. That’s okay—it can actually benefit your relationship. But, if you feel like you’re on opposing teams, you’ll be fighting more than you need to because you’ll always feel like there needs to be a “winner.”

When you keep in mind that you’re on the same team and want the same things, it will be easier to communicate with your partner through a more positive lens. You’ll have fewer barriers when it comes to working through communication issues. Take those thoughts into couples therapy with you.

Always Set a Tone of Respect

The Gottman method is designed to improve intimacy and respect within the relationship. To do this, you have to be willing to show that respect throughout your therapy sessions and at home. Maybe you already think you respect your partner, but, you might not realize the “small” ways you could be cutting down your relationship every day.

Do you often bring up negative things they’ve done in the past? Do you hold grudges against them? Maybe you don’t trust them or believe they can do what they say they’ll do. If any of those things sound familiar (or your partner treats you that way), you’re likely not leading with respect. The Gottman method can help you recognize those unhealthy behaviors and communication patterns.

A Desire to Make Things Different

Having a willingness to change is perhaps the most important tip to keep in mind if you want to succeed through Gottman couples therapy. Chances are, if you’re seeking out therapy, your relationship might already be facing some hurdles.

The Gottman method works well if both people involved are willing to recognize the negative patterns in their relationship and make positive changes. Be open to learning about communication patterns that could be damaging your relationship. It’s not necessarily an easy thing to hear, but knowing what’s “wrong” and taking active steps to fix it will make a big difference in the health of your partnership.

Interested in learning more about Gottman couples therapy? Check out our couples therapy page to learn how to get started.