When to Enter the Dating World After a Breakup

Ending a relationship is very difficult.

Maybe you were blindsided by the end of your relationship. Or, perhaps you knew it was the best thing for you and your partner, but that still doesn’t make it easy.

Jumping back into the dating world can be intimidating and even a little bit scary after a breakup. How long should you wait? Will it help you get over your previous relationship? Are you really ready to move on?

There’s no ideal timeline when it comes to dating after a breakup. Don’t let friends, family members, or even your own curiosities and doubts push you into something you’re not ready for. However, there are a few general rules that can help you determine when you’re ready without feeling like you’re rushing things. 

Give Yourself Time

No matter the reason for your breakup, it takes time to truly get over someone and the relationship you built together. Even if you feel like you can move on quickly, a good rule of thumb is to give yourself at least a few weeks or even months before you consider dating again. 

A breakup is a loss. It’s okay to grieve that loss, even if it was for the best. Giving yourself time to process what happened and to mourn that loss is important. Doing so will put you in a healthier state of mind when you do decide to date someone new. 

Establish a Sense of Self

Before you start dating again, take time to figure out who you really are and what you want out of life. This is an especially important tip if you just got out of a long-term relationship.

Sometimes, people “lose” their identities in relationships. You might give up some things you enjoy or step away from hobbies out of habit. You might not even really know who you are anymore without that previous partnership. 

If you jump into another relationship before re-establishing your identity, you’re less likely to have success. In fact, you might even be tempted to put pressure on that new partner to make you happy, and that’s not fair to either of you. Seek out your own happiness. Take a class. Try a new hobby. Spend time with friends. Re-discover yourself before meeting someone new. 

Don’t Play the Comparison Game

Maybe you’ve already started dating again or showing interest in meeting someone new. But, if you’re comparing everyone to your ex-partner, you’re not ready to start a new relationship.

That doesn’t mean you have to forget about your past relationship completely. But, if you find yourself wishing your date did something the way your former partner used to, or if you can’t stop complaining about your ex all of the time, consider it a sign that you need more time before you move on.

Can You Speed Up the Process?

Again, there’s no ideal timeline when it comes to dating after a breakup. One of the worst things you can do is let people talk you into it before you’re ready. While your inner circle might have your best interests at heart, it’s up to you to determine when you’re ready. 

Don’t focus on speeding up the process. Instead, use this time to dive into self-care. Get plenty of rest. Exercise often. Write in a journal, meditate, or practice mindfulness. Self-care is a great way to learn more about yourself while working through the grieving process. You’ll feel better and more confident by the time you’re ready to start dating again. 

If you’re having trouble getting through the loss and wonder if you’ll ever be ready for a new relationship, consider talking to someone. You don’t have to go through your grief alone, and working with a mental health professional can make it easier to establish healthy and effective coping mechanisms.