Why Am I Feeling Depressed After Getting Married?

If you’re newly married, you probably heard more than once during your wedding planning stage that your special day would be the happiest one of your life. When you finally walked down that aisle in front of friends and family, you might have been living out a dream. 

Having a beautiful, memorable wedding makes all of the planning worth it. But what happens when the wedding is over? 

If you’re feeling depressed after getting married, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, many people end up dealing with the post-wedding blues after their special day. Let’s take a closer look at why you might be struggling.

Missing a Purpose

Wedding planning can be stressful, but there are parts of it that are also really exciting and fun. Picking out a dress or suit, tasting cakes, and deciding on the right music are all great ways to get geared up for the big day. 

Wedding planning also helps you set and achieve goals. It can give you a sense of purpose. When you have nothing more to plan, you might end up losing that motivation and drive. You might even start to wonder, “what now?” which can leave you feeling down about yourself and the future.

Missing Friends and Family

It’s normal for your friends and family to be around more than usual when you’re preparing for a wedding. You’ve probably spent a lot of time with your bridesmaids or groomsmen over the last few months. Your family might’ve thrown you an engagement party. Your friends surprised you with a bachelor/bachelorette party you’ll never forget. 

After the wedding, though, everyone’s lives go back to normal. It can be difficult to suddenly lose the closeness that you built up with people over months. While you haven’t lost family members or friends, not being around them as often can be a struggle and make you feel very alone. 

Dealing With a Life Transition

So many people focus on the wedding day and don’t spend enough time thinking about what a major life transition it is to get married. No matter how long you and your spouse were together before tying the knot, some things will change. 

Dealing with any major life transition—even a good one—can be stressful. It can cause you to start thinking about your life and reflecting on things, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed or even depressed. 

What Can You Do?

So, how can you beat the post-wedding blues? 

First, recognize that you still have plenty to look forward to. You just married the person you love, and you have a lifetime of memories to create with them! Marriage is work, but it doesn’t have to be boring or dull. Make every day an adventure. 

Lean into your spouse. Let them know how you’re feeling, and foster a relationship built on open communication and establishing needs. Doing so will help to build intimacy and boost your bond, no matter how many years you’ve already been together. 

Consider starting a gratitude journal, and write in it every day. When you consistently jot down things you’re thankful for, you’ll remind yourself how good life can really be. That, alone, can evoke happiness and help you realize that it wasn’t just your wedding day that was special. 

If you’re really struggling with depression after getting married, consider reaching out for professional help, like with a counselor at Forward Together. Your depression might be triggered by something deeper, but you allowed wedding planning to “distract” you from it. 

Getting to the root cause of those feelings is essential. Once you do, you’ll be able to work through your emotions and find healthy, effective ways to move forward.